james3pce@googlemail.com - Police Tape
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Join:16 May 2013
Last:6 Jul 2013

About Me

Well, you have to write a profile, don't you?
Go and get a cup of tea, look through my pics, and I’ll tell you what you need to know.

I have a criminal record.

1989 - Speeding, 113mph in a 70mph - expired
2011 - Parking on zig zags - nearly expired
2013 - Driving with no license or insurance - Currently 9 points.
It’s a technicality. Let off fine on appeal.

That’s the serious stuff out of the way.

Photography to me is a “Jobby”. I have a full time job as a “Creative” in a related field. - Print & graphic design. With Photography, I sometimes charge, sometimes do it for fun and sometimes pay.
I have probably earned more money from photography than you have.

I am currently 44 and 3/4s. I was a Hugo Boss model.

I am easily traceable and findable - see “Uncle Jimbo Lulu”, “James Martin Smoking Pub” (1,200,000 Internet pages, not hits), “3pce singing Mac the Knife”.

Welcome, providing they are a blood family female and stay out of the way. Any one else, I will meet and direct them to a very nearby Pub or Coffee House.

I appear to be the Pro-Am Tog who’s ideas are copied, and probably done better by other Togs than anyone else’s on all of these various modelling sites. Good. I don’t claim to be the World’s best Photographer - a very creative one, with a never ending stream of ideas, but unable to be the best due to time and budgetary restraints.

It would make my life so much easier if your Mother or a Police Person was sat in the next room.
I have photographed over 250 girls and not had any problems. I have met over 50 Mothers. Male Rellies are a whole different Kettle of Fish

If you have seen my stuff, you know what I Shoot.
I would describe my style as “ENGLISH SEASIDE POSTCARD”.
If I had wanted to see the insides of a Ladies bits, I would have become a Gynaecologist.
I don’t. I describe my style as “Naughty” - T ‘n’ A, if you will, more P3 than Jazz Mag.
I have seen quite enough of all the rest.

This is an American expression which stands for “ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, FIREARMS”.

YEP! I like a drink, White Wine Spritzers - about a 1/3 Wine. I don’t get pissed - Unprofessional.
Always available on my shoots, you can have Tea, Coffee, Water, Squash, Red Bull, whatever.
Always available, your choice. DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!!

I don’t want to know. I have had a few spliffs, but not for many years - go outside - don’t tell me

I need to stop, but I do currently - too much.

I have held in my hands (though never possessed) and fired several guns, the last one was in 1997. I have an imitation Air Soft (Registered) - see my port. I usually have a sword or two around my studio.

Increasingly often, I look at other Togs Ports and think “THAT WAS MY IDEA, YET YOU, HAVE DONE IT MUCH BETTERERERERER” - HA Ha Ha!
I have been Photographering for 28 years and have my pictures all around the World - unphotoshopped.
When they were taken, there were no computers. Nowadays all Togs portfolios seem the bloody same. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE BLOODY PICTURE, NOT EDIT IT!
That is a PhotoShopererererererers Job!
I get many girls wanting to be photographed because MY WORK IS PHOTOGRAPHY - NOT BLOODY PHOTOSHOP!!

I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t Murder, Rape or Grope me.
I promise the same in return.
I may be old, but I have the body of a teenager. I keep it in the cellar ! :-)

It is extremely likely that an animal will be around on all my shoots.
I have a small dog - see port - If you are allergic, please let me know and I will send you to another studio

Dead animals have been a feature of this Studio for many years.
Pigs, Cows, Sheep and Chickens have been the favourites.
As a published Cook, I am quite likely to make you food. It is usually quite good.

I have had a lot of this over the years.
You are probably in your late teens or 20's. Let’s be realistic. My days are over. When I was your age - yes probably, but that was before you were born. Get over it, Let’s get the Pictures and go home.

Generally speaking, I will have these.
If you are good, you may take some of these home with you. I can only shoot with a new outfit 2 or 3 times.

If you have Big Bones, go somewhere else.

If I shoot you and pay you, I generally own the pictures. Any deviation from this - Ask for details.

I will always pay travel. (If I want to shoot you - i.e. if you are pretty and not “Big-Boned”

If you are inexperienced, I will pay your travel and give you the shots from the day. There will be a lot of FuckUps - who cares? Bring an 8G Stick.

If you are Semi Pro - I may pay you, but don’t clock watch

I still find, even with experienced models, that if you have 3 hours, it is betterererer to talk for 2 ours and shoot for 1, than start straightaway and shoot for 3 hours.

I have been more widely publicised than you. I do many creative things. Song Writing, Engineering in many media, Pianism, singing, Poetry, Politics, Animal Behaviourology, Cooking, Authoring to name but a few. Many, many Girls model, very few make any decent money at it.
If I can point you in the right direction - I will.
I enjoy photographing Social Events more than photographing Pretty Women with Not Many Clothes on. If your levels are less than my usual, get in touch, and we will photograph to those levels - It is a waste of time to try and push you to do my stuff if that is not your thang.

I generally have a lot. Very few Pro Models I have shot have ever taken home Props and eaten them.
Many of my models have!

I think I have answered most here. Anything else, email me - james3pce@googlemail.com
If the filter rejects this, it is james3pce at googlemail dot com